Cock of the Month - November 2009

Another award going to a first timer, or a pair of first timers. This was provided by Emenemenem - a pair of cocking colleagues recently joined from Norway and recommended by Globe Trotting Prof Nev to have a go. They did and they enjoyed it and have been active on the slightly less cocky bits of the site as well. An example to us all.

Cock of the Month - October 2009

As proved here by first time cocker Spikyharold, there's nothing wrong with keeping it simple and straight to the point when cocking. The simplest pleasures can be found in the smallest and least complex of things.

Anyway, SpikyH - well done and welcome to the cocking colleauges. As you will have already gathered there's bugger all on offer for getting COTM apart from the kudos amongst your friends. And my undying admiration and gratitude. Ta.

Cock of the Month - September 2009

Who did this? It wasn't me that's for sure. Was it you? Are you the guilty cocker with nothing better to do? Did you spend hours combing the countryside for cock?

If so well done, you've earned your reward.

Cock of the Month - August 2009

One to the quota of awards to ICG again - and a long time since a media cock has scooped COTM. But old Mr Cocksedge looks so pleased and yet so dull I could simply not resist granting this award to celebrate the old codgers appearance in the Cleckheckmondsedge Chronicle or something.

Cock of the Month - July 2009

This was definitely me as I remember almost purchasing this as a small gift for Mrs Tordoff on the ocassion of something or other. But I didn't.

A lovely piece of craftsmanship to produce a cross stitched cock of high quality and esteem. Have a glass of wine on me. Oh thank you I will thank you very much; and stop talking to yourself you nutjob.

Cock of the Month - June 2009

This might have been me, but it might also have been Il Cocko Grande up to his old tricks again. Its taken me so long I can't remember who did what or when or why or how. Same old story though - here's the cock of the month for June and your prize is on its way. No really it is, honestly. Oh alright then, its not and it never will be. Just get used to it alright.

Cock of the month - May 2009

**Last minute appeal from JungleJinge - she claims this is hers and is willing to fight Saucy Viky to the death - she can do what she likes for all I care, makes no difference to me. Touchy bugger.

Small but perfectly formed. Another COTM award for Saucy Viky. Although it has to be said there was very little competition from anyone other than me and ICG this month which made the judging slightly tricky as I was unwilling to be lambasted once again by Jungle Jinge for selecting myself for the award. The Cheeky Cockle was far better than this, but far be it from me to take all the glory etc etc..........

Cock of the Month - April 2009

Il Cocko Grande seems to have abused the good nature of his employer's travel budget by bogging off to Europe again on a cocking expedition poorly disguised as a "sales trip".

Anyway, COTM again old man; well done. No prize so go get stuffed.

Cock of the Month - March 2009

JungleJinge (Lady Lieutenant of Cock and honourable cock agenda-secretary) I think got this one; surprisingly she was lurking around a pub somewhere..................

Cock of the Month - February 2009

All the way, via The Mad Weasel, from the Arizona desert. A large cactus shaped like a penis and testicles. A worthy, if somewhat prickly recipient of the stubbornly prize free Cock of the Month for February.

Cock of the Month - January 2009

Our greatest esteem goes to another cock first timer, from now on to be known as 'Cock Soup Rosie'. There aren't many cockers can claim to have won cock of the month at their first attempt.

Well done CSR - get some more cock in and you'll have a stab at Cock of the Year!

COCK OF THE YEAR 2008

WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A MAGNIFICENT ACHIEVEMENT BY IAN B. NOT ONLY DID HE UNCOVER THIS COCKING OPPORTUNITY BY DOING HIS RESEARCH, HE WENT ON TO WHEEDLE THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER OUT OF THE OWNER OF COCKLICK HILL FARM AND THEN KEPT HIMSELF AND HIS COLLEAGUES SUITABLY ENTERTAINED FOR MANY LONG MONTHS FOLLOWING THE CAPTURE.

A TRULY WELL DESERVED REWARD FOR ONE OF OUR MOST DEDICATED AND CHILDISHLY AMUSED COCKERS; HE WON THE VOTE HANDS DOWN AND WILL NO DOUBT BE EXPECTING A PRIZE OF SOME SORT. FAT CHANCE LAUGHING BOY.

Cock of the Month - December 2008

An undeniably festive feel to this 'Secret Santa' gift presented by DW our unresponsive blackmail victim. The recipient was suitably amused, as should anyone being in receipt of such a gargantuam member.

Cock of the Month - November 2008

Who got this one then? I can't keep up, there's just too much cock to be had!

Cock of the month - October 2008

Er...well, whoever setn this in - congratulations at being annointed as COTM for October 2008. I'm sure you'll remind me whodunnit in order to claim full glory for your exploits.

Cock of the month - September 2008

This has been the most difficult COTM to award so far, as we have had so many cock debutantes as well as some truly honourable mentions and near misses from more well established colleagues who have been at it for months. Globe trotting Professor Nev returned to the fold after a long absence (and his holiday in Cornwall), Ian B and JJ maintained their consistently high quality cocking input and even the work shy second in command ICG pulled off a couple of crackers.

However, after due consideration and a little drinky or two, the rest of you can all take a hike - Scott of T'Antarctic gets the award for September with this exceptional debut entry. Magnificent; I really must think about issuing prizes if the standard stays so high.

Oh, and by the way, I am NOT a nut job (or any other sort of job JJ!)

As a supplementary to this exceptional bit of cocking, some new information has come to light via Shaun who has submitted the following bit of local history to embellish this entry. He wants to learn how to spell mind!

Dear Cockaholics. With reference to the outsatnding cock entry. The alley that was called treacle cock alley was originally named tickle cock alley because there was cock fighting down there in days gone by. Cock tickling was as popular then as world federation wresting, spandex and spam mash is now. The new green footbridge, under construction in July, opened in September and replaced Treacle Cock Alley. In the late 1970s, the Department of Transport proposed a motorway (perhaps the M65) between Lancashire and Yorkshire. The first section of this was to relieve the A650 in the Aire Valley north of Bradford. It was a landmark moment for anti-roads lobbyists, because to the surprise of the DTp, it was thrown out in the public enquiry and the plan had to be scrapped. It is the first real instance of the public demanding a road plan be cancelled.

Skip forward twenty years, and the residents of Bingley, tired of the A650 choking up their town centre push for the road construction, in a toned down dual carriageway form. Mmmmmm spam mash.

Cock of the month - August 2008

Cock Topiary. this month's hands down, world beating, streets ahead winner. ICG leading the way and showing the rest of us how to do. Remember ICG, everyone hates a smart arse. Particularly your scrawny, fleshless excuse for a backside.

Cock of the month - July 2008

Probably the most competitive cock of the month ever this month, with a number of cocking colleagues going at it hell for leather throughout the month vying for the honour. They've been all over the world and seen cock everywhere, but I'm pleased to announce that the Cock of the Month for July 2008 goes, for the first time, to The Swindon co-pilot, who went all the way up the Volga (probably) to St Petersburg to capture possibly the most valuable cock ever captured (perhaps). Here it is and its carved from a block of solid amber. I'm not shitting you, honest, its true.

If you don't agree with my choice you could appeal. If you do I'll either ignore you or tell you to naff off. Its up to you really.

Cock Of The Month - June 2008

Not just admissable Ian B - its cock of the month, despite some tremendous competition from Jungle Jinge currently traipsing around South American in a search for cock.

Cock of the month - May 2008

I know I shouldn't self award again - its largely because my self esteem is so low that I need to do it; but the sheer audacity of this ironmonger in Clacton, trying to self man-sized plastic cocks to the people of Essex still takes my breath away. How would you get it in the car for goodness sake.

Anyway, well done me, cock of the month yet again!

Cock of the month April

Thoroughly well deserved cock of the month award goes to our most prolific recent cocker - JungleJinge. She's been going all over the world it seems on her quest for cock and found a great quantity - but this award is for quality alone; in Sydney Australia I believe. JungleJinge - you're our greatest asset; keep up the great work and let us know where you're going next. Just don't expect us to pay your fare.

Cock of the month - March 2008

A well deserved cock of the month award going to a cocking debutante this month - its Mrs Il Cocko Grande, straight in at #1.

No prize, but our everlasting gratitude for finally endorsing your other half's favourite past-time.

Congratulations Mrs ICG - don't stop now you have just got started!

Cock of the month - February 2008

I'm awarding February's non-prize to myself - noone got close to the Cockett family's take over of Hawes in the Yorkshire Dales. Well done me - have a cigar and a short holiday!

Cock of the month - January 2008

Globe trotting Prof Nev deservedly getting his first cock of the month award with this great bit of cock road signage. No prize for you either GTPN.....

Cock of the month - December 2007

Il Cocko Grande deservedly winning this month following his trip back to the Cock and Pheasnat pub. Good boy ICG - but no prize for you or anyone else!

Cock of the month - November 2007

Another cock of the month award goes to a cocking virgin this month. This example of the art of cocking from Mad Weasel demonstrates what can be achieved with a bit of creativity and a group of drunk mates with fireworks. Careful lads, you'll have someone's eye out!

Cock of the month - October 2007

Straight in at #1 for our newest cocking colleague this month, with this historical cock from Halifax. It used to stand proud over the town centre and flash on and off all day and night. Until they went bust or were bought out by some bugger in Stoke on trent.

Cock of the month - September 2007

This spectacular international cocking entry from Nicki and Katie wins this month's accolades - a round of applause for our colleagues. Sadly, no prize again this month. I really couldn't be arsed trying to think of anything suitable. I'm a very busy man you know!

Cock of the month - August 2007

A difficult one to beat this one. Simple, with no need for any sort of embellishment.

Cock of the month - July 2007

An outstanding entry on "The Wonderful World of Cock Miscellany. Congratulations to the colleague in Cockermouth that sent this to us. Your prize would be in the post, but there isn't one. Sorry.

Cock of the month - June 2007

Going to the man himself - a worthy, albeit scrawny and somewhat fey recipient of cock of the month!

Cock of the month - May 2007

Our first ever cock of the month award going to Tim - what could be better than a pub called cock!